Broken
by LouiseObsessed
Summary: oneshot: "Merlin, I'm not letting go." But even as you say it, the stone digs deeper into your chest, leaving marks for later, and your iron grip starts to weaken.  You're running out of time.


_AN: this story is a -continuation? of xRainIsWetx's story Cracks_.  
_it can be read as a stand-alone, but you should definitely go check it^ out before reading this.  
__it'll give you a better feel for the story.  
lots of lovee_

* * *

That manic smile. It haunts you.

The sound of your feet as you take the staircase slowly. The feeling of the wind about you as you reach the top.

His name in your mouth.

For a second he looks at you with those blue eyes. You see the hurt. You see the hopelessness. And you feel them both in your own heart.

This is the second before the manic smile stretches over his features, an eerie mockery of what long ago was so genuine.

You remember the confusion.

What was that smile?

And then the realization.

You see his body tip as his balance changes. And he grows closer to the air behind him, the empty space. You remember the flash of horror that grew and consumed you.

Who ever thought things could happen so fast?

His name in your mouth, again, laced with horror, panic, desperation. The sound of your feet as you pound across the rooftop towards him.

You push yourself, but you can't move fast enough. Were you actually even moving?

Yes, you must have been.

You watched as his balance failed him, as he gave in, memories playing through your head. Fights. Things you said. Deep untruths you screamed in your rage.

_Useless, Unwanted._

All this as he smiles at you, body slipping further away. Into the empty air.

But you reach him.

As he slips right into the air, you reach him.

And with every bit of yourself, you grab him. Physically, with your arm grasping his inner elbow.

His body stops.

So does the smile.

He looks up at you with his blue, blue eyes. The eyes that once held so much joy, kindness -love. He looks at you like you've rudely awoken him from a truly blissful dream, into a reality of pallor.

And you looked back at him, holding onto him with all your might, and you pleaded.

"Please don't do this." Your words strained by the stone barrier protruding into your chest.

"Let go, Arthur!" He says back, over the wind.

They hurt. The words hurt. Something inside you breaks with those words. You can't let go.

"Why?" Your eyes are burning. Are those tears a product of the wind in your face or the pain in your heart?

He looks up at you, his eyes weary. "I don't want to hurt anymore. I can't make it stop and I'm exhausted."

The wind whips the words around you as you continue to hold him in and iron grasp.

"This will make it stop." He finishes.

"Merlin, please, no. I'm sorry!" The desperation chokes the words out of you. Not a valid argument, you knew. But your brain works numbly in grief, you learned long ago.

"Please go back inside. Let go." He has tears in his own eyes now. And are you imagining it, or is there something familiar there too? Something you remember from happier times. Do you see love?

"Merlin, I'm not letting go." But even as you say it, the stone digs deeper into your chest, leaving marks for later, and your iron grip starts to weaken.

You're running out of time.

"I'm sorry!" You yell. "I'm sorry for everything! I don't want this to happen. I don't want you to go, Merlin. I didn't mean a thing I said."

_Useless, Unwanted._

The words echo in your head.

"I'm sorry, Merlin!"

The tears are on your face. Your hair is in the wind. The barrier is in your chest. Your eyes are on his.

His eyes on yours.

"Promise me the pain will stop!" His voice through the wind, his tears, his hurt, his fatigue.

And you nod.

You nodded.

You made that promise without even a second of hesitation -of consideration.

But you would keep it. Of that, you were sure.

And then his face broke and you grasped him and hauled him over the stone that would leave bruises on your chest for weeks, and you collapse onto the hard surface beneath you, feeling his reassuring weight next to you.

And you fumbled for him, grasping his arms, face, chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath your palms. Feeling that he was real.

And then you crumbled into sobs, still grasping.

Gasping for air, you looked into his face, saw the hurt lessened, saw the raw emotion breaking in him. So many emotions, too many emotions.

And all you could feel yourself was relief. As it gripped your heart in it's vice and spread through your entire body from your fingertips.

You hugged him then, a distant memory playing somewhere in the back of your mind.

When you felt him raise his arms and clutch you back, that's when you knew.

You would keep your promise.

And when the manic smile drifted back across your thoughts, the sound of your feet, the feeling of the wind, it wouldn't matter.

Cause he would still be there.

He wasn't gone.


End file.
